Well, I decided it was time to spruce up the blog a bit and made a few changes. Wanted it to be a little lighter, brighter and a place for me to go to write more often then just recipes. I have had an online blog of some sort for many many years. Livejournal and Free Open Diary were once my bff's as kid. I want this bff back again. Here goes...
I have realized recently that I am in major need of some stress relief in my life. Who am I kidding, I have always needed that in my life since I struggle with very bad OCD, anxiety and a super stressful job. But at least now I am finally doing something to control it.
Meditation was something I thought I could never do. When I used to take pilates or yoga at the gym
(before I got married, had a kid and actually had time to), meditation at the end of the classes I always struggled with. I couldn't get out of my head and would become restless. Because of that I thought it just wasn't for me and it wouldn't work. I decided to give it another try within this past week, I needed SOMETHING and getting out of my head was necessary for me to have some peace in my mind. I realized after downloading a few apps and listening to these women's soothing voices and what they were saying that it was OK to be distracted and it happens to everyone. I just needed to continue and concentrate to the best of my ability. It wasn't something you had to be perfect at the first time or even the tenth time. You need to practice it like anything in order to be successful at it. So right now, I am practicing and learning. While my meditation isn't perfect, it does ease my body and mind. After doing it I do feel more at peace. Also, for me personally my OCD after is less and that is HUGE. My OCD is the life altering kind, not the clean house kind. Any less repetitive actions or any less chaos in my head means a lot to me.
I have thought recently about trying medication for my OCD and anxiety but the thought of that gave me more anxiety because I have had a bad reaction to medicine for this when I was younger. Sometimes being on medicine for this or other type of disorders is necessary but I wanted to try anything so I didn't need to go that route and it looks like meditation is the new medication for me. Knowing the small changes meditation has done for me in just a few sessions gives me true hope that this could be a life changing practice and that makes me happy. It's a new love of mine and I'm excited for my journey ahead with it.
Another new love of mine has been reading. I don't like to sit and read for hours and hours, nor do I have the time but sitting for a short time has been another stress reliever for me. I lean more towards "self help", self love and awareness books but am also enjoying fiction books as well. Fiction gets me out of my head and deep thinking. So it depends on my mood and how tired I am but a little break from reality, work, tv, etc. is nice sometimes. I am not a reader by any means but I have enjoyed this new love of mine.
Find things you love. You deserve to explore that and do something for you. I have always struggled with doing things for me because of the guilt but I know now it's necessary.
Positive vibes,
Jenn
